Some days, especially recently, I feel like hanging up my running shoes. Retiring from running. It’s too hard. Never having to get up early on a weekend just to get a run in before the heat of the day, never having to be frustrated with disorganized races, never having to beat myself up over a run that sucked. Aaaah, that would be lovely. But let’s snap back to reality: I feel like running is a disease in my body…I caught the bug, and even if it lays dormant for a while, it always comes back. Ugh. I’m stuck.
So I have been thinking: how can I run but not “run”? I came up with a brilliant idea. I will hire myself out as a Motivational Runner. New to running and signing up for your first race ever? I will help you train if you’d like (read: tell you what to do). I will encourage you, especially when you want to quit (I won’t let you). And most importantly, I will run that first race alongside you and keep you going. Yay! Brilliant!
Here’s the fine print:
1) I can’t help you on any distance longer than 5k. I mean, the way my training has been going this year, if you are running a 10k you might leave me in the dust at mile 4 with no Motivational Runner in sight to help me through my personal agony.
2) You can’t be fast. This kinda goes along with #1. I can’t motivate you if you’re 1/2 mile ahead of me.
3) My fee will be $10,000 per race. That way, I help people do 10 races a year, pull in 6 figures, and quit my regular job. (<—again, brilliant!)
4) On second thought, I might accept payment in Salted Nut Rolls and Lay’s potato chips.
I love the way my mind works. So….when’s you’re next 5k?
Life in the Outside Lane 